What you can’t fix, you feature.

I heard that phrase a number of years ago.  They were talking about guys who wore glasses.  Some men think of glasses as a handicap, others as an asset.  In the particular story the gentleman had an eye infection and couldn’t wear his normal contact lenses.  So when he went out that night he wore glasses and asked women if he looked better with or without them.  Great way to start a conversation with something that may not be ideal.

It popped into my head in response to a thread on MM.  This thread is about one young woman’s difficulties in how people respond to her nude modeling.  In this particular thread it was her parent’s responses to her first real nude shoot.  Many of the things they said to her would apply to any number of people, from other family members, coworkers, and the general public.

And they’re all wrong.

I’m not gonna refute everything that’s in the thread.  You can go read that yourself and just use common sense.  What I am gonna do is to relate this back to the title of the post.  One of the things that her parents said was

No one will want to marry you.

Now, I’m sure that there are some people in this world that would not marry such a woman.  They would not even entertain the thought of marriage if they knew or even suspected that such an event had taken place. That any woman who would do that is morally bankrupt.  I don’t agree with the people in this group, but they have their beliefs and they’re following them.  I respect that.  Much more than the next group.

The hypocrites.  They’re okay with female nudity.  Until it’s their daughter, or their fiance.  They don’t mind seeing your girlfriend, or your wife naked, but theirs is “special” only for them.  These are the guys I like the least.  They’re usually jealous and insecure.  So many women I’ve photographed want to do nudes, but don’t because of guys in this group.

The next group we’ll call the apathetic.  They don’t really care either way.  They may tend to be slightly positive about it.  They might get to see the woman naked before having sex with her, which is usually a plus.  On the other hand if the woman hasn’t posed nude, it’s not gonna bother them at all.

I really don’t know what to call the last group.  Why don’t we call them people like me.  Nudity is important to me.  And not just sexually though that is a nice side benefit.  All of the women that I’ve met who have been nude in front of a camera are women that I want to know outside of the photography industry.  They share many of the same traits like confidence, intelligence, creativity and a willingness to try new things.  I don’t know if they had these traits before they posed nude or they developed them after posing.  Perhaps it’s some of both that feeds back on each other.  Either way these women are better than the general population.  Which is why I won’t become involved with a woman that isn’t willing to pose nude.

Now, I don’t expect a woman to strip right after I get her phone number.  And I’m not going to rule a woman out because she hasn’t posed yet.  But if she’s downright against it we won’t be spending much time together.  If the relationship progresses, and she hasn’t been in front of my camera sans clothing, then her finger will be sans ring.  That’s right.  I won’t marry a woman UNLESS she poses nude.  I would hope she enjoys it as much as I do.  I don’t expect her to have a career in nude photography, unless she wants to.  And if she only wants to pose for me, that’s fine.  But I’m not gonna stop her if she wants to pose for others.

And now we’re finally back to the first phrase at the top of this post.  What you can’t fix, you feature.  I can’t change the people in the other three groups.  But I can show them a better way to act.  So besides the personal benefits of having a wife willing to pose nude, I’m hoping that my example may help others.  And, just to show that I’m not a hypocrite, here’s some photos of me.